I am so confused I don't know what to do anymore, this past year has really done a number on me and I don't think I really survived it, or perhaps I did survive it but am not happy at how I handled everything. I was a young mother with a young boy (2+) and a new baby (3month) when I discovered the ea...I lost my son in all this mess..he was my focus my life we sometimes I wouldn't even say what I was thinking and this little boy would utter my thoughts (one day we were out at the swing set and I thought wow this would be a cool place to sneak off and read a book and son then said.. mamma let's get a book to read out here. now son always wants daddy) my house is not as clean as it used to be, I am not as organized as I was, the meals are not prepared as well as they used to be... I've lost it. I feel like a failure and then I feel resentful toward h because if he didn't have the a and leave but stayed and stood by his wife and son and new baby things would have gone much smoother. I want to rip my head off.
I do love h I just don't know him. and that makes no sense.
