Monday, I had called my H to apologize about what happened at the party on Sunday. He seemed to accept my apology but then, I had to ask what was going on with us. All he wanted to do then was to get off the phone. Again, I just wanted an answer and had difficulty letting him off the phone. He told me he would call me later that night (his usual tactic now to end the conversation) and he did. When he called, I had friends over so at first he told me to call him later, but then changed his mind and told me he was still angry and didn't want to talk. I didn't call him back.
Yesterday, I had to go by my H's office (I do his bookkeeping). When I was there, I asked him for a truce which he said he accepted. I was just going to leave it at that, but I again I could not help myself from asking what we are doing with our R/M. Again, he couldn't tell me. His only response was "give it a couple of days". I tried to give him a kiss but he backed away. I bit my lip and left.
Well, today I am really going to focus on some personal baby steps.
1. Shift my focus from R/M to me and kids 2. Try not to not ask H about the status of our R/M and try to avoid talking about our R/M 3. Try to restore some normalcy/routines to my life (this has been difficult since the move and then the separation) 4. Try to have minimal contact with my H for a while (I seem to feel stronger when I do this) 5. Never mention D again until I am absolutly sure that is what I want 6. Do not try to manipulate my H or push his buttons (I mentioned to my H that I am going to start dating if he can't give me answers...I know, I know). 7. Remind myself that I am emotional strong and I can get through this
Well, there is a few for starters. I welcome other suggestions.
