I am hanging onto Kevin with everything I have even though I know I should be done. I know what I should do and what I need to being doing. I just can't figure out how to make myself do it.
I've gone around the kevin-go-round again... he's soo good at sucking me into his games and twice as good at spitting me out drained.
I feel drained today... in everyway imaginable. When I think about Kevin I get mixed emotions... part of me knows what he is and how he will continue to act and another part jumps to his defense and swears up and down he could be different. I am so scared of being alone that I don't dare let go and walk away from Kevin... so I sit here and wait for him to break my heart again. It is bad for everyone invovled.... and I am waiting for the 2X4's but I don't know how to change. Everytime I think I've changed... he finds a way to manipulate me back into his game.... how will I know if change ever really comes?
