I tried talking about her email, last night before bed, she fell asleep. She was all chipper this morning. I was kind of distant.

The problem I am facing, is a large part of me wants her out, and wants a D. I have placed these feelings aside, and decided to take the time to go to counseling and be careful in deciding what I want.

I will most surely miss her, if she leaves temporarily or permanenently. I don't know if it is an idle threat to try and get me to "want her not to leave" or genunine.

Very conflicted thoughts today. The part of me which wants her to go, is already thinking about preparing the house to sell, de junking, working on a basic separation agreement, and almost 'hopes' she will hook up w OM as well.

I guess I am looking at this as the beginning of an end, in some way.

It is not to say this will not hurt It will HURT. In my mind these relationship issues have been going on for 3 years since her 1st EA. I am ready for it to end, to stop the hurting.

Her whole email is about blaming me for everything that is happened, there is not a hint of considering her part in this relationship. Maybe C will help her tonight.


Last edited by I_Surrender; 05/30/07 02:48 PM.
IS 49 W 47 S 21 D 19 S 16
M 24y Together 31y
EA Mar04-May 06
PA Feb06-Jun06 EA May07
Bomb Dec 28 07

Footfalls echo in the memory, down the passage which we did not take, towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden.
T. S. Eliot