Afterall..... This IS my life V

[heatherg]

SouthernGirl, I hear exactly what you are saying. I think you're 100% correct that my H will likely outwait me every time. Cobra also has a pretty good angle on my H.

I feel like your suggestions were perfect for where I was three weeks ago with H. Now though, there has been some discoveries made and a lie told. Any acceptance of his kind gestures at this point, I see as acceptance of his poor behavior as well....as a sign that all is well when all is NOT well. I've tried to regauge myself back to neutral, pleasant even. Still getting there. But I can't keep allowing us to sweep our problems under the rug or I will be 50 and still going over the same 'should I stay or should I go' routine. Ya know?

I think your advice is great if my focus was still H and 'getting' him to open up and be in a R with me. Bur right now I really need some help in being true to ME. Acting congruent with how I feel. Making my boundaries clearer. It's time for both of us to GROW UP.

Am I making sense? I really want to follow Stig's advice and detach from the outcome. Nops said the same thing-it's perhaps time to table thoughts of reconcilation. I need to figure out what I want from this R and what I am willing tolerate and what I'm not. Then I should probably communicate that somehow in a non-challenging, as vulnerable as I can be way. The rest is up to him.