Need Veteran Piecer's Advice - desperately!!!

[Heartbroken]

Well we talked again last night - I woke at 12 AM and could not fall back to sleep - I called him and I know I should not have...He really needs his space but he makes me feel better even though we talked about ending it...

I just need to accept that whatever is going to be is going to be and I cannot control it. H HAS to fix himself before he can even think of us. I am afraid he is so far into his pain that it's just easier (for now) for him to walk away from me...

I give myself all these false hopes, he tries to sugar coat the truth to spare me pain but it really doesn't does it??? My best friend who has remained impartial (she's was friends w/H too) says I can do better and I need to move on. I know she's tired of seeing me hurt and going back for more - but how will I know I am done trying. I am afraid I would never quit trying - it's not my nature...

I need to stop obsessing about H and US and shift my focus to the kids and ME - I need to start walking my talk and just do it - if it were only that easy...

So much for not posting today...I will try and not come out here until tonight...

I appreciate ALL THE SUPPORT - it helps tremendously!