Quote: convince you and himself with his actions that you should become a married couple without ever having "those" feelings.
his actions even at the time of proposal were that way. h had already met ow then (she's a customer) and had spent some time with her then (unknown to me) realized that things could be diff, that he could feel a diff way, didn't know he could feel that way, never felt that way with me, no this can't be right, I'm supposed to be with LL, I'm marrying LL, so he stayed away from ow, BUT his feelings for me never changed, he never felt "that way" for me and therefore ended up going back to spending time with ow because he missed that feeling and it was still there, so spent more and more time with her, supposedly innocently as friends. more and more time, till he was stopping by her house 3x a week and talking to her everyday. this is when he got caught with her but before he would admit to what the r was to him (I knew) so...(history) he leaves because "love you not in love with you" (this my friends is not alien speak on h's part but the truth, he may have been in love with me once but that was a long time ago when he was 19 and I was 16 it has been gone for years) h asked me to marry him because "it was the next step" and this is what he said after comming home.
it matters not I suppose who h loves or is in love with as long as I stay strong enough and am willing to sacrifice a life without passion, sharing, compasion, emotion, companionship then all will be well.
