I don't know what to tell you. But it is true that people have a deep down built in natural instinct to do one of two things (which in the end are quite similar). They are - avoid the pain and seek out pleasure. These are reasons many people do what they do.
In the case of your H - it really sounds like the first instance - avoid the pain. Being around you reminds him of the damage and hurt he has caused. Because of his guilt and the sheer disgust he has with himself, he cannot stand it. While it is not your fault - you remind him of this guilt. Anytime he is around you, thinks about you - he is reminded of what he has done and the pain it has caused. I know this doesn't help you figure anything out, but perhaps helps you realize what he is doing and why.
No one really knows what he is going to do. But it is clear he is avoiding the pain. But it has been a long time - 6 months right? But as I just posted on my thread - if being distant and having no contact isn't working for you, then stop doing what doesn't work. It sounds like you have given him a lot of space and time. If you feel so much better because of the detachment, then maybe it is the right thing. But if you are feeling more lost and you have been detached for while, then why not try something different. What else can you try? Is it wrong for you to let him know you have been thinking about him? I think not. But this is JMHO. Perhaps he is still in pain. I am sure he knows he has caused you pain too. But running from the pain will not make it go away for it will only catch up with him and you. I know - try explaining that to them only makes them run more.
Take a step back from your situation. Think for a moment. What could you possibly do differently? Would it make a difference? Are there any upsides? Are there any downsides? I am not urging you to open up R or M talks, just perhaps figure out a way to drop that small droplet into the calm lake that creates that rippling effect into something more grand. If there is little downside to it, then what is the harm?
I feel bad for you. I do. 2 years is a long time. I will say a prayer for you tonight - that you get some inner peace and the answers to the questions you so deserve.
