I've been thinking the same thing for some time now, Heather ... that he may be reading your posts here. Perhaps.
Heather, your sitch is one where I vaccilate between "I would run like hell" and ... "I dunno".
I do know something about pride, and stubborn males.
Some guys will not, will NOT, be "forced" into anything. You can push till kingdom come and they'll only push back harder. The only way you can lead them is through kindness, and love. They have to want to do what you want.
If your h is of that sort, setting deadlines, conditions, "I'll only do x if he does y" will not work. Forgetaboutitrightnow. Don't care how justified your objections, and grievances, it just. won't. work. Will never work. He'll wait you out, and then some.
Be open, vulnerable. Reward nice behaviour with kindness. To not reject gentle gestures. Act "bunny", to use Mojo's metaphor. Act like you would towards someone you love, and who you expect to make you happy. When you go to your couch bed, say "goodnight" with just a tiny touch of the sadness you feel. Smile nostalgically. Know what I mean? He has to feel safe to stop pushing, and until he does, he won't.
