thanks for askin'

LL is doing a bit better.
realizing that spending time on me doing my thing is not so bad. h will come to me when he's ready and if I'm ready before he is as long as he doesn't reject me then all is well.

I suppose h is right in that no matter what he does it's just not enough or I'm just never happy with him.
thing is that h used to (and I mean a long long time ago) treat me like a queen, I was someone special (hell he even gave me a heart shaped charm that said so) and though it may seem that h is a nimrod, he is not, he is becomming an excellent daddy someone who realizes that spending time with the kids is just as (if not more) important as working to provide all the "stuff" for them.
h is realizing what it is that I want (well somewhat) and I am realizing that instead of getting annoyed in the am when he leaves that all I get is a peck why not just respond to that peck with a hug myself??? so two mornings in a row when h has initiated his peck goodbye I have initiated a hug. for now that is fine and perhaps h will soon go for the hug himself.

so last night I started reading my book club book, tonight I have a pediactric cpr course to attend, fri I'll do more reading and sat is the party!! sun is a baby shower for my cousin (mil will wach the kiddos) and superbowl for h. and next week has some nights of "stuff" for me planned too.

while I was out tues night (was damn cold!!) I stopped at home depot and bought some paint stuff for the dining room, I will start that after my reading is done!!

so I guess if I want to be persued... I will have to busy myself with productive other things so that I am in a position to be persued cause obviously there is no fun or point in persuing someone who is sitting right there waiting to be persued, and if h doesn't persue...well at least I'll be getting some things done round here.

I made an appointment to meet with a trainer at the gym for next thurs night!! I'm actually excited to start working out.

so all in all things are good.

suppose at some point I will just have to put my rings back on myself as it doesn't seem h will ask me to... unless of course I leave them on the window cill?

LL