Lin and D -- Your words are great. Even though I'm wondering about things (new and improved though they might be ), I know inside that I'm hanging in there for the longer haul. I guess I find myself doubting b/c I worry that H will push for a D and I want to be ready -- you know, taking the offensive. But if I'm looking at the truth in me, at least now, I can't imagine being with anyone else.
I do believe that only if I hang on and make changes for me - in me - while staying in the marriage, will I really accomplish them. I am finding that I can learn patience, and there is no better classroom to teach me how to let go of control. If in the midst, I can love H through this and learn to really let down my fear of boundaries that only lets people come in so far, I will be that much better. And so, I can only guess, will my marriage.
I think that some of these questions of someone else comes from the panic and worry I had yesterday and this morning; it seems that these rollercoaster hills ( ) throw me from one extreme to another. How crazy it is, eh?
But I find you all help me keep my head above water. Thanks! Anne
), I know inside that I'm hanging in there for the longer haul. I guess I find myself doubting b/c I worry that H will push for a D and I want to be ready -- you know, taking the offensive. But if I'm looking at the truth in me, at least now, I can't imagine being with anyone else. 
If in the midst, I can love H through this and learn to really let down my fear of boundaries that only lets people come in so far, I will be that much better. And so, I can only guess, will my marriage.
) throw me from one extreme to another. How crazy it is, eh? 
