He is much more controlling than I remembered, or maybe I'd forgotten. It's as if he is here to "fix" things, and it makes me feel defensive. As if everything would fall apart if not for him. The thing is, we've done pretty damn well without him and now there is so much more tension. I'm a night person and h is a morning person. This is just a fact that we've dealt with. But he makes me "wrong" to be a night person and criticizes me for staying up late or wakes EVERYONE up in the morning by turning on their lights (this does not go over well with s20 or d18, or d9 for that matter.) He insists they get up. He implies that they are lazy if they don't get up then, and if they say they were up late, he blames them. He just seems to order them around uncer the guise of helping...
So many of the things you mentioned in your 1st paragraph matches my wife and me. Plus the rest about your spousing expecting everyone else to work on or help with their projects.
I guess maybe you need to think about the worse case when it comes to sticking it out and moving to Alaska to be with your husband and try to rebuild your relationship. If you can come to terms with "worse case" then it can only get better than that right? As far as love being a choice, I truly believe that, but it takes consistant actions to make that choice come alive, if you can't follow thru with loving actions behind your choice then I doubt you'll get anywhere.
Oh and hey, as part of your own MLC how about an adventure in Alaska?
Take care, remember that your lucky to have choices in all of this, most of us have no choices, -JDK
