Yes that too is very possible. I not trying to blow any smoke, but by seeing there can be a positive outcome to all this helps us keep hope and continue strive to reach for what we want. Granted, your H is a tough nut to crack. Unforunately, he in some ways reminds me of Andy's W, but I also believe that anyone has the ability to change their POV and what they do about any part of their lives and that is the main source of my PMA. Did he pay this much attention to his son before he left?
Quoting lostlove: h (who does love me?) see's it as no matter what he does or says I am just not happy and yet for some reason chooses mostly to say and do nothing.
This appears key to what drives a wedge between the two of you. Your H feels he is in a no-win sitch here so why bother trying. I know it seems he doesn't do enough now, but if you consistantly let him know when he gets it right, then he can believe what he does can make you happy and it will encourage him to try it some more. This preception needs to be broken so he has a reason to change. This can be a very big hinderance for him. "Why bother trying to make improvements if it doesn't change anything in the end?"
I'm so sorry that you have to experience the frustrations of the slow path your H is taken to come back, but with encouragement, I believe your H can slowly transform into a more affectionate H.
Catch him doing it right and let him know it makes you happy no matter how little it may seem.
