I just moved from Newcomers to Piecing! It looks like I'll be moving East, as well. See my story in Newcomers for the details behind the Boston references.
I/we survived the trip to Boston over Memorial Day weekend. We had a lot of fun. Traveling together can be stressful during good times, so I thought it was great that we did as well as we did. Not one argument!
I let her know that Boston was too chaotic for me to live in the city and I liked cities of around 200,000 people. We went to Worcester, and we both liked it a lot. Home prices there are almost the same as Denver, and it's only 45 minutes from Boston, and has a commuter rail. Boston has an excellent subway system as well.
She told me when we got back that we have a lot in common and she missed that. She said we both where at fault for our relationship problems, which is something I wanted her to admit. The problem is she said she didn't want a lot of questions, and doesn't want to talk about it (IT being the affair).
I told her I do have a lot of questions and while I realize I may never get some answers I'd like to have at least a little counseling to better our relationship. She hasn't really responded to that. Part of her problem has always been to sweep problems under the rug and never mention them again. I guess I'll use my last phone coaching session for advice on how to proceed with piecing and recovering from an affair. I want us to do the intensive session with Michelle, or failing that, to get some kind of counseling to help us get past what happened. It's good that she acknowledged it, and wants to get back together, but it's going to be very hard for me to re-establish trust. I'll keep up the DB support myself either way, but I'd like her to get some help, too.
She also told me that she realized she'd made a mistake but my behavior (see my Newcomer thread) drove her further away. Newcomers, take this as advice directly from a WAW!! You can't start the 180s too soon. I wonder how much faster things could have worked had I not done the clinging, begging, snooping and confronting. Ah, well. I can at least serve as a bad example as a warning for others!
