Hello.
It's been quite some time since I had a thread of my own so I thought I'd open one with the intention of gaining more insight into the withdrawal stage.

After 2 years of this crisis, the past 4 months have been when H seems to have pulled far away in communication with me. My H was a drop-in during replay which made for some emotionally traumatic drama. I do not miss it. When I moved several hours away last fall he still called me often enough that I knew if I still lived by he'd still be visiting me.

In Jan. of this year he hit some kind of bottom and we had a series of email and phone conversations in which he expressed just how sorry he was for all of this; how he could finally see the damage he had done and he did not know if we could ever be good together again, after what he'd done; that he was a liar and that the "thing" with the ow was never something he thought would last but he just lied during it regardless; that I deserved happiness and he did not; that he had no ability to love.

And then it seemed he just pulled back. The few times we did talk, he said he felt too much guilt to be with me. He felt it would be easier for him to start fresh with someone he hadn't cheated on.

These last 4 months have been the first time since I've known him that we've had this little communication. And I have not seen him in 6 mo.

I do not hold out hope that we will reconcile but I do wonder if this is withdrawal, or this is a man that is just moving on because he's too full of guilt to reconcile with the wife he abandoned? I do not know what goes on in his personal life; he could be dating and I wouldn't know that. The last time I heard from him, he sent me a happy birthday text message, and that's all it said.

I do still think about him often and I wonder if he does the same about me. I would never ask him. He does not reach out to me anymore. I wonder if this is just him completely detached from me now and moving on, or this is what happens after they've seen the damage they've created and withdraw?

Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.