Need Veteran Piecer's Advice - desperately!!!

[Heartbroken]

Had a REALLY rough day at work - emailed H about the June Kid schedule and this trial separation - said we need to talk tonight he agreed.

Talking with him calms me yet he is the one who causes all my stress why is this? We talked about being truly separated and I told him I need to stop trying to fix him and work on me and take care of the kids. I need to let it go and I will every day - baby steps.

I am done talking to OW - she did call him b/c I guilted her - he says they just talked and he has not seen her = I said I do not believe him.

I asked him not to have OW around the kids, respect our money in the bank and to try and be honest to himself and his IC.

Then I became the control freak again and asked him not to see OW until we have filed - which I think is where we are truly heading by August - I just don't see changes coming anytime soon. Why does my brain realize this but not my heart?

He goes to C on Wed. - he said anything regarding the kids he will let me know...

I am off the Hilton Head the end of June with just the kids - meeting my brother and his family - this will be GREAT break for the three of us. I am now focusing on them and mean - we will get through this.

Thanks Theo and everyone = not sure how much I will be out here. This place is addicting and it makes me want to keep trying but then I just get hurt and don't really listen to him when he says he is done. I keep pushing for us to stay together and why to keep prolonging my pain. I need a new direction...

Nite...