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What's with him? Was he upset or something? Or is it even worth trying to figure it out?


don't know what's with him, don't care to waist my time and energy trying to figure out what's with him. I have never hid my feelings from him (well exept for over the summer per dr ways) h has always been privy to my inner thoughts and feelings both good and bad, both concerning him and concerning me and hell concerning others. I have always let h know me and know what I am thinking and or dealing with in my life. H has always been a closed book to me. I have never known his feelings, thoughts, dreams, etc.
I do not know this man and I don't think he wants me to know him.

let's see didn't I tell you that no matter what he does get me for my b-day it wouldn't be good enough??
well sat night when we went out we stopped at a framing place to have some of his sports stuff framed for the cave, I pointed out a pic that I thought was nice, how convenient that h was going to that print store yesterday to pick up his stuff and grabbed that pic, woopie do da. he also let son pick out a pick too (son calls it the spooky one, its a night shot of a volcano flowing I put it in the cave ) sorry but what if I hadn't pointed out that pic???? what the hell would h have done then??? given me money??? speaking of money, h in the past couple of days has spent hundreds of dollars on his pics for the cave and what did he spend on me $60. guess I am so worth alot aren't I. so tonight I think I'll go out and pick up a baby shower gift for my cousin and go do a bit of hunting for some stuff to decorate my cave (the rest of the house!!)

mind you when I woke last night and found h in sons bed I asked him what he was doing there, he said he wanted to lay with him for a while. I told h that I wish he would just let me know what is going on, that I am tired, that I don't like this, that I am afraid that I will have an a myself, find someone who loves me, that I feel insulted by h, INSULTED. that I can see who he really came home for.
h did find his way back to our (MY!!) bed sometime during the night (by then I had already fallen asleep so it was a long time) h stayed in bed today til 10, me and the kids were up at 6:30. h said nothing at all about anything (nor did I) took his shower, made his own damn coffe (instant huh why do I bother to make the good stuff for him, I don't drink it?) started his truck, sat with son for a few then kissed him goodbye and kissed me goodbye and off he goes to do whatever the hell it is that he does down there.

so this week and next I have some plans already (c appointment, pediactric cpr course, shopping tonight) and I have to finnish reading this months book, our meeting is next wed (new members comming too) so I will just have to keep myself busy every night till he figures it out and if he doesn't figure it out at least I wont be sittin around waiting for him to figure it out. (dummy that he is may figure it out but will not speak up anyway)


one good thing I will be having a bon fire birthday bash (yeah basically I planned it myself but wtf I'll have h re-call my friends so he can feel like he did it) sat night. I am looking forward to that, I love my friends, we are a group that have been together some since kidnergarten and others middle school a rather mixed bunch, but hey they are like family to me.


LL