With what has happened to me the past couple of days, I can readily identify with that "fear of failure" mentality. But if you don't try, you can never succeed - never reach your goals. We have a neighbor who is a volunteer fireman and EMT - it has its share of stress and uncertainty but he truly enjoys what he is doing.
I can't remember if you have mentioned whether you have discussed this with H. What are his thoughts? If he does show support, it can be something that leads to bringing the two of you closer.
Like Jethro, I think your goals are good as well. Check back with you later!
