thanks for the birthday wishes. today I am 30! I don't know how I really feel about it. there is alot I have already done with my life that some women reaching 30 still dream of but there is still alot yet to do.
I will admit I have been a bit depressed lately and I don't know exactly why, could be the sit with h, could be my birthday, could be the winter (damn it's cold and all this snow) could be the extra weight (shouldn't bother me though cause I still am above average for a house wife with two little kids) could be my parents (they d'd 5 years ago and still haven't healed) could be any number of things or all of these things piled together.
so this morning I stayed in bed. came down and made breakfast... ready...scrambled eggs, hash brown patties and corned beef hash and a nice tall glass of orange juice. h cleaned up!!
today h has to go to the mall to pick up the pics that we dropped of to have framed for his "cave" he will take son with him. (nice) so dd is napping and when she wakes I'll give her lunch and then off to walmart for diaper and some other tid bits. tonight we will have my birthday dinner KFC (i don't know why but it has been my birthday meal since I was about 13) don't know what h has or will be getting for me but I suppose I should just be thankful that he is here and we are becomming a family. perhaps it will take time before I feel like we are a couple or maybe that will never happen? I don't know but right now I will focus on the family and myself.
so another year in the life of LL.
this year I hope to...
-get in better shape (oh how I loved myself over the summer thin and trim amazing what 10 little pounds can do to a womans mentality) I've joined the gym so that should take care of that and actually will kill two birds at once... getting in shape will make me feel good, boost my energy, and getting out will give me a sense of self something I'll be doing just for me.
-look into that emt thing (I'm a bit terrified I must say, I think I have that fear of failure thing, maybe thats why I opted to be a housewife)
-spend more time with friends and family- try to have a once a week night/afternoon that is for me to be me with my friends or family (my mom)
-decorate the dining room (the one room that never got painted (well the flat white paint the builder used) so I should have some fun with that too bad I can't actually go buy a real dining set for the room but I'll make do with the stuff I have for now and just gussy it up a bit.
-try to find the possitive everyday and focus on that instead of letting the negatives bring me down.
-once football is over, start going back to church and then enjoying a few kid free hours afterward.
I know there is more but that's a good start for a monday morning right?
LL who is not old!!!! she's just not twenty something anymore
