Ahh...another regular day. How very nice. I want one of those, LL (just got off the phone with my W and she sounded pretty good...maybe I'll be lucky).
Quote: can't tell you it's a surprise, it will look good though and that's all I'll say.
Hmmm...I'm hoping it will be something great, and not for the cave!
well I guess I know h better than all of you, I did for like one little second think it might be something for me but then I woke up and realized who h is.
it was a pic for the "cave" actually kinda annoys me a bit that he'd just stop at the mall spend 150$ on a pic for his "cave" and treat it like it's a surprise for me. he alsp brought home a small pic of brady that he supposedly bought over the summer that he had at his appartment (my thoughts BS!!! was a gift from skank ow!)
but what really pisses me off is that he probably has yet to get me anything nor does he have any idea what he will be getting me for my b-day and at this point I bet no matter what he does get it wont be good enough. so
I'm getting tired of feeling this way about my h. I deserve to be treated like a queen. so with that, I'll leave him to put the kids to bed and I'll go take a nap.
Quoting lostlove: well I guess I know h better than all of you, I did for like one little second think it might be something for me but then I woke up and realized who h is.... but what really pisses me off is that he probably has yet to get me anything nor does he have any idea what he will be getting me for my b-day
LL, Yikes, I do feel like I know him well after all! Let me guess...he will leave it until the day of, be late home on your b'day because he had to go shopping, leaving you to look after the kids, the house, any visitors, etc., then show up with something he evidently put little thought into, because he left it so late. You will make your own b'day dinner, and if any family or friends come over, it's only because either you invited them yourself, or dropped major hints to him, which he ignored until the last minute. Your MIL will bail him out, but only slightly, by bringing a cake.
Please tell me I'm wrong! Otherwise I didn't know my H had a clone in the U.S.!
Ooooh.. LL is turning old... How old is it this time?
Quoting lostlove:but what really pisses me off is that he probably has yet to get me anything nor does he have any idea what he will be getting me for my b-day and at this point I bet no matter what he does get it wont be good enough. so
Well, I am sorry how you feel about it. Bud would you realize that you have become a mind reader of your H, granted you know him much better than most of us do . But I have to say that I like the part of taking nap better than the others, since that is something you do to make yourself happy, rather than starting an expectation that may or may not realize, and an imagination AS IF you are not going to be treated well. I know, I do not doubt for a moment how much you have devoted your love to your H and how much you deserve his reciprocating love and caring.
So I guess, if all fails, please remember your H is being home, doing those little "homely" thing with you. I know he is not perfect up to your expectation, but that is someone you love. Keep him near and dear to your heart. That is a wonderful present many of us could only dream of.
I had a rough day, so sorry I rubbed those thoughts in...
What are some of the B-day wishes you care for sharing?
I do not feel secure with h. I do not feel loved by h. I do not feel confident with h. I do not feel joy with h. I do not feel fun with h. I do not feel "family" with h. I do not feel like "me" with h.
I do not feel like h really wants to be with me, I do not feel like h is really here with "me" h is here yes. h is here for his children, h is here for his "cave", h is here becuase it is the choice that has the least repricussions financialy, emotionally, respectfully (?) h is here but I am not.
I am not sure I want to do this anymore.
I am tired of h not understanding any of the effects of what he has done. I am tired of h not having anything to say. I am tired of h avoiding me.
we are supposed to go out tonight. I don't want to go out with him. he is boring and when I am with him I feel suffocated!!
I want to run away!!!!
this is not a new feeling either, this is how I felt before h's ea, before he left... the feelings were gone when h came home... then he was "trying" now he's just here and that is supposed to be enough? what type of a r is that. I know nothing of him. something is terribly wrong. if h never leaves again.... perhaps 20 years from now...I will!!! or maybe I'll just build him an in-law suite and he can go live in it!!
Lostlove, I haven't kept up with your thread. I am far from piecing, so I am mostly reading newcomers and MLC threads.
Are you getting any counseling? You sound like you feel what my H must have before he left. Remember love is a decision. It sounds like you still need to get past your anger about what your H did to you. (Hopefully I will have to deal with these same issues in time)
Are you falling into old habits? I don't think that it is just up to your H to try to be the H that you need. You need to tell him what you need (in the right way). Reread DR and see if there are some ways that you can change the way that you are dealing with him. Maybe he will start acting in the way you need. It sounds like you are pushing him away. You have every right to be hurt and angry with him, but you have to deal with this in your own mind.
I think it will be good for you to take some classes and start thinking about yourself. But don't forget about the marriage if you truly want to save it. DBing doesn't stop once you get them home. The changes have to be for you too, and they have to be real permanent changes.
I do believe that you can find the love again that you had for your H, but you will have to truly forgive him and put the past behind you first. You cannot change it, but you can make you and your H a wonderful future.
How old is it this time?
. But I have to say that I like the part of taking nap better than the others, since that is something you do to make yourself happy, rather than starting an expectation that may or may not realize, and an imagination AS IF you are not going to be treated well. I know, I do not doubt for a moment how much you have devoted your love to your H and how much you deserve his reciprocating love and caring.