Its been a while since I last posted so I thought I'd update.
Things have taken a little bit of a nose dive in the last couple of weeks and I have felt myself starting to turn into the "old" me and H has been doing things he used to do that he had stopped doing. After analysing myself a bit I think is is because 1. I'm starting to feel like I need some sort of big apology for the four months of hell, 2. The things I was keeping quite about in order to oil the wheels of our reconciliation are getting harder to keep quite about and I think I need to start "asking for what I want" but am having trouble doing so in a way that doesn't make H feel I've lied about everything I said was fine, 3. The honeymoon phase is pretty much gone and H is now just being "normal" as he feels completely at ease and OK with everything whilst I still feel quite shook up about what happened and can burst into tears quite easily thinking about any of it.
That said, I know that the D is certainly busted and our M is so very much better than it ever was - we are much closer and happier and more intimate than before. Thank you so much Michelle and to all of you for helping me not only bust my divorce but make my marriage so much better than before!!
I think it just shows that even when you reach your goal of busting the divorce it takes a long time to feel truly secure. I'm not really sure how to proceed to try to iron out the above mentioned niggles but I'm sure I'll get there eventually. Meanwhile if anyone has any helpful tips who have been there please let me know I would be truly grateful.
