What Heywyre said is also true of me. I found that in my sitch, by staying, forgiving and working to make things better I grew stronger in my H's eyes, he respects me even more now because I didn't cut bait. Prior to finding out about my H's infidelity I would have sworn I would never have stayed, but I did...because in my heart I wasn't finished.
But that's us, everyone is different. We all have to do we feel is right for US and not worry about what is right for everyone else.
Heywyre, Greeneyedlass ... I'm truely happy for both of you, and your h's reaction. Believe me when I say I know my partner would not react the same way. In the end, we have to follow what we believe is best for us personally in our personal sitch, and hope that it turns out to be true. :-)
Southerngirl, I'm definitely NOT trying to tell you that your H would react any differently than you think he would. I'm reinforcing that "we" (I, you, Heywyre...and everyone else) does what we each think is best in these situations. If you know your H as well as you do, then there's a very good chance things would play out the way you think.
In my situation "I" didn't react the way I thought I would...and that's the key thing. I used to think I would cut bait, I surprised myself. I don't think I ever even thought about how my H would view me if I stayed, interestingly enough that never even entered my mind. Hmmmm, that's interesting to me that I never considered that. Fortunately for me, it worked out ok LOL
Southerngirl, I'm definitely NOT trying to tell you that your H would react any differently than you think he would. I'm reinforcing that "we" (I, you, Heywyre...and everyone else) does what we each think is best in these situations. If you know your H as well as you do, then there's a very good chance things would play out the way you think.
In my situation "I" didn't react the way I thought I would...and that's the key thing. I used to think I would cut bait, I surprised myself. I don't think I ever even thought about how my H would view me if I stayed, interestingly enough that never even entered my mind. Hmmmm, that's interesting to me that I never considered that. Fortunately for me, it worked out ok LOL
Of course it would play out exactly like I think. That's the whole point in being all-knowing, and all-wise. But I'd prefer not put it to the test, if you don't mind. *smile*
I'm happy for you and your h. It sounds like you're in a good place in your r, and that's to a large part due to you. Congratulations. Sincerely.
I don't think I ever even thought about how my H would view me if I stayed, interestingly enough that never even entered my mind
Most of the time it doesn't matter what others think, it is what you need to live with in your own heart
"never say never" - like COG said, an old but VERY wise saying.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Life sure is an interesting ride but I wonder how many of us would have volunteered to go on that trip knowing what we do now.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I didn't think about the "respect" thing either at the time, but now I wonder at times.
He did make the comment once "Do you realize how stupid I would be to let you go after all I've done & you're still willing to stay?" Well, duh, dumba$$!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
But I'd prefer not put it to the test, if you don't mind. *smile*