Sometimes I feel like I have stayed b/c of weakness, but when I'm truly honest w/ myself and dig deep, I realize that it's not all b/c I may be "scared" to be w/o H. I just looked at my little boys and decided that, yes, it was H's CHOICE to cheat and no, he didn't communicate how unhappy he was to me in order for me to try to "fix" things, but I am wiling to give this M a run for it's money and actually put some effort into it and not just live day to day like we had been. I'm willing to believe that, if I step up to the plate and be the W I truly can be to H, if he CHOOSES to cheat again, he's gone b/c there was obviously nothing I can or could have done to change that -- he's just a cheater. BUT on the other hand, if I start treating my M w/ the respect it deserves (whether he did or not -- well, he obviously didn't), and that's not enough, well, at least I gave it a shot. I understand that H's decision to cheat was not based solely on my transgressions in the M, however, I needed to give our M a go from a totally different POV than I had been in order to know whether it could be saved or not.
I know this won't make sense to some, it kind of makes me doing all the work while H is the one who cheated, but trying to save my M was something I had to at least try to do and see if we could be good again before I could kick him to the curb.
Anyway, not trying to hijack Hey's thread, but just continuing the discussion on why some of us choose to stay after a H cheats.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
