Had discussion yesterday with W about the lack of physical comfort between us. She says she doesn't have the feelings in her to even give a small hug at bedtime. Plus she says she knows if she did then would I want "more and more". That I would get angry that things weren't continuing to progress. She says she is happy staying on a "plateau" for now. Guess we just have to back off and spend even more time living like roommates.
On a positive note, she did decide that she was not going to go to Trainer's Bodybuilding Contest out of town this weekend. We have two kids with birthday's this week, so she felt she needed to stay for them. I have been upset that she was going to "blow off" there B-days, so score one for the family.
She says she does feel there has been improvement in the relationship, but that it can't be "fixed" as fast as I want. Says she had gotten to the point she just didn't care anymore. I told her I never hit that point, but she said I never cared the way she needed me to. She blames me for her weight gain, and is struggling with "Identity" issues now. I just tell her I will take all the blame I need to, I know I wasn't there for her.
Patience is a virtue with which I was not blessed. I guess I just need to pray for some patience and appreciate "Baby Steps" for now.
