Thank you for the advice...I'm glad you were honest, and I completely agree with you. HOwever, I feel like I get in these uncontrollable moods and I cannot rationalize to myself what I NEED to do, even though I know it's the right thing.
On a positive note, I strongly suggested we do something with H day off yesterday and he suggested a drive into some mountains about an hour away. It was a great family day. Not w/o its little frustrations, but really nice. I think we are HEADED back on track. I hope I can keep it up.
I won't go into it now, but the post I did not get a chance to finish, I was feeling DEPRESSED, almost suicidal. I don't know what's wrong with me. H does NOT deal well with that. I think he believes I'm just being dramatic or something. I tried to give him the analogy of someone stubbing their toe. Just because you are 5 feet away and you are hearing the cursing and anger, etc., it does not mean the person believes the hurt toe is your fault! When I expressed PAIN over how D was shutting me out, he responded to me in anger and defensiveness, like "It's not my fault." I actually said, "I have noone, I have nothing." He just repeated it sarcastically to me and walked off. I was bawling my head off. I know this is so far from DB'ing, but I was feeling out of control emotionally. Thankfully, as I've said, it seems to have passed and we got along well yesterday. Wish I could post some pics.
