Need another opinion, is my W OM, friend or more?

[andyv]

Thx WAW,

I really do have to pull my finger out.

I am so sorry to hear your sitch, I hope things do improve with time, hopefully your W's OM will realise what a mistake he is making and finds someone closer to his age.

If you can hold out and can forgive her for what she has done, I think this may not be a long lasting affair. I can't see myself at that age wanting to get into a serious relationship with someone that much older, with baggage. If she doesn't come to her senses, he surely will.

The novelty will wear off for one of them.

This is what I am hopefull of. I have always thought that I could not forgive my W for having another, but when I look back on what a wonderful partner she has been for 16 years, I owe it to her to hang in there, after all most of the blame should be placed on me.

I broke her emotionally by not being there for 1-2 years, and put undue pressure on her with raising DD and building our house whilst I was away. This is something that I can never forgive myself for. She was such a happy and loving person, and I changed all that. It does take two to tango, and there are things that she could have done to save our M, but I decided to sit out the dance......