Need Veteran Piecer's Advice - desperately!!!

[Heartbroken]

Well I met him at the park and he had papers from friends of the court - he wants us to use the same lawyer. H no longer loves me and is unhapppy and wants out. I asked how long they were together again and he says he's not seeing her like that - she's seeing someone else. H wouldn't talk about anymore and we drove off sepatate in a huff (me saying I needed my own lawyer).

I ended up calling the OW since she sent me an apology note, I figured it was fair game to talk to her (she was my friend FIRST) and asked her where they at it again (we were friends 2-3 yrs before H even met her). She said he texted her this past Thursday stating he saw a lawyer - she told him 'not to do it for her' - but she did not say she was done with him. She is basically the carrot out there - I begged her not to see him again and she did not sound so convincing - I told her once was a mistake and twice was on purpose. I asked her not to call him about this convo - well either she did or she text him or whatever but H left a nasty message stating once again I am trying to control things - AM I?????? I feel I am just trying to save my M and save my kids a lot of pain.... Is this too much controling? OW says to me that I deserve better than H - ha what ahout her I said - why does she want him with the baggage and crap he'll bring. I said my children deserve their father....

H and I talked civil again later and H just wants out he feels he's tried all he can and he wants it to end.

Not sure what to do at this point.... H is still and always has been in selfish mode damn the wife damn the kids damn his reputation - how long do I keep trying and I must still love his something fierce b/c this hurts like HELL again. I'd be suicidal if I did not have the kids - thank GOD I have them to make me be strong...

I know I can make it w/o him - hell I will meet someone. I do not NEED this man - but unfortunately I WANT him and I want our family unit. But if he wants out how do I stop him...

Thanks for all your help gals and guys - off to flip in bed all night!

HB