First big hugs girl. You are an amazing woman. Don't forget that.
I'm no expert but I'm going to give a few pieces of advice. 1. I'm sorry about the sex. I can relate to that feeling you are describing. It sucks. I want to remind you that you control you and have power over you. If you don't want to do it, don't. Don't wait for him to read your signals or rely on him to. Take yourself out of the picture if it isn't a picture you want to be in. Be in charge of you. 2. I can't imagine the frustration that goes with piecing. You have given and given and given and you now want him to start doing the same and making a great marriage. Seems like you are focusing a lot on the things he isn't doing right now (and maybe that is okay) but maybe it would help to focus on what he is doing to see if there is a lot he's doing ot meet your needs or that he thinks he's doing to meet your needs that you might be missing right now. Maybe make a list daily of what he is doing that is great and that is making you feel loved? I don't know... just a thought.
He does need to step up. Keep communicating honestly and opening regarding what you need and want and encouraging the things he is doing right and see what he does.
You rock SD!
Dana
Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. -Marcus Aurelius
