I need some help here.....by getting "unenmeshed" that means I have to seriously detach, correct? And learn to live my life without being so connected to her.....and do the things that make me really happy and that I have missed out on (within reason).
I am doing that now, and the thing is that I am not letting my W have any more power over me....like asking me where I am going, or if I did so and so around the house......but also not being rude, just letting her know that I have an individual brain just like she does and I deserve a little ounce of respect from her, and in turn I will give her the respect she deserves but also the distance that we both need.
My biggest struggle is with setting boundaries with her....she will flat out disrespect them, and the consequence of her breaking those boundaries is for me to move closer to separation.....
Also, I don't want THIS marriage anymore....it is the same one, and nothing has changed. I don't want it. And I don't really want her the way she is. I will change, and if she changes then we have something to work on. So far, she has not changed in her ways. More is going on with SIL and OM (not getting obsessed about OM)...but that it is a major issue that has everything to do with the outcome of our M.....and it is also one of my boundaries she is not respecting.....
For some reason I just had a look around the house. I was thinking about family, and I walked around the house and realized every single piece of furniture is hers or her choice, and every photograph displayed is of my W, daughter, or her family and friends. There is NOT ONE single picture of me displayed....and I have taken lots of photos with my W and kids......it has been this way since I can remember. Just a thought, but it is interesting to note nonetheless of how she views this family and our M.
Last edited by sol1696; 05/28/0706:20 PM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
