My heart has been completely torn apart

[I_Surrender]

Journal;
Well another weekend of downs, ups and downs. Friday was okay, Saturday we were both feeling our emotions, Sunday was a little better, many positives. I took her to test ride a couple of mountain bikes, then we went mall shopping, she helped me pick some shorts and we each helped each other pick out some summer clothes, she bought me a shirt. This was until I was talking to her late last night.

I was puzzled about a phone number I rec'd on my cell (out of area) and was discussing that with her. She then said, "wait go back" on my call display. "Why did you call *****, you never told me you called *****" ( mutual couple/friend(s) ) This is the person she confessed the PA to a couple weeks ago.
Yes I did not tell her that I called this person. I needed someone to talk to, and they are very supportive of both of us (not picking sides.)

I should have told her, I suppose, I don't know. She thinks that I am keeping secrets from her, and probably thinks that I am trying to make enemies of her and this couple (I am not.)

It looks like a big bump in the road.

I went to bed upset/crying, she was angry. I was still quite upset this morning. I saw that, as usual, there was a sandwich made for my lunch in the fridge. I did not know if she made it before or after our fight. She was sleeping in for an appointment, but I decided to go to her side of the bed and give her a goodbye kiss, anyway. I just did not want to leave and keep the fight going.

I am really afraid to ask her some of the key relationship questions this week, does she still love me? does she want to be married? does she find me attractive? will she work to restore my trust, no matter how long it takes? will she never again seek out another man?

I suppose I am confronting my vulnerability. Maybe that means in my mind I am reconsidering my feeling of D as an only option?