Yes, we are still separated and my H has made no promise of returning at anytime. After last night, he is probably done taking his baby steps. In my opinion, his baby steps were just spending some time together to see if we can reconnect with no real effort on his part. He just really wants to avoid dealing with this. I understand that I have the power to make changes within myself that can somehow influence him but I just don't think I am strong enough to pretend that things are great and that life is wonderful to convince him to come home and have a life with me. I have tried but I can't do this anymore. I need him to make an effort to make things work. I need him to be my friend again but he claims he doesn't trust ME and I am trusting him less and less all of time. I thought the man I married understood what honor and commitment were. Now it seem that those things only mean something to him when it is convenient.
I have been doing my best to GAL. I do have the support of lots of family and friends. I have found this BB and all of you which helps. I am going to IC as well. I have tried to find a support group, but have been unsuccessful finding anything in my area.
My H told me last night, that if I were doing this to him, he wouldn't put up with it and he would be gone. He also said that he can't plan his life much more than a day at a time but he is prepared to get a D if it comes to that. My H can't picture his life without me but it still doesn't make seem to make a difference to him.
Originally Posted By: Concerned_Listener
Your H is trying to connect with you, but your anger and resentment, and attempts to control him keep pushing him away. I think you know that.
I truly wish I felt like my H was trying to connect with me. I don't feel like I am trying to control him, just connect with him but my attempts have been futile having no effect or just pushing him farther away. Right now, I don't think I am angry but I do admit that all of this makes me frustrated, resentful and hurt beyond belief. Today I feel like my the only approach I haven't tried is to end this and rebuild my life without him. I hate how alone I feel. Why can't he make an effort? How would you embrace this pain with love?
