She didn't just threaten me. She said that her lawyer had told her to inform me about the divorce papers that are in preperation right now. It seemed more of a very casual, friendly notification. There were no scars or emotions in her words this time (unlike before). We have now been separated for about a year now btw.
I have been working on myself all the way through, but the differece was that I used to email her one time on a daily basis and let her know how my day has been and so on. I stopped this months ago and dropped to silent mode. I received only a few replies to the many emails I sent her, but I was sure she was reading them though. If I call her and she does pick up the phone, our conversations last not more than 2 or 3 minutes anyway. And if I start talking about myself or ask her a few questions too many, then she would just hang up. So I have been clueless on what to say over the phone or even on what to write to her.
The last email I sent expressed grief about my Brother. I have noticed that whenever I mention anything that is "not so joyful" she reacts very negatively. But knowing this, I still mentioned my late Brother. My DB coach said I should try to write about the people we have in common. I have lost contact with many of our family friends from long ago. So family was the next thing I could think of.
We have both been avoiding each other. My DB coach also adviced me on sending 3 cards, a week apart each: firstly on expressing regret, secondly on informing her of the changes I am making in my life and a third on getting back to being friends again. I only sent the first and then just couldn't get around to doing the other two. No excuses for the delay.
Is it too late to do this now, since she has already told me notice about how and when it's going down?
My DB coach also told me that I should limit the emails to one-a-week or so, but I haven't been able to send any because I didn't want to end up saying the wrong thing as I have in the past.
One time I made the mistake of showering her with gifts when she was telling me NOT TO send anything. I also didn't send her anything for the Anniversary this time around but did buy her something.
There is one big hurdle for the whole thing. We are literally hundreds of miles apart. And she has told me to stay away. So there is no way for her know or see any of the improvements I am making to my life unless I write to her or send her an email.
