UD, I went and reviewed your prior thread. You mentioned that he was gone for 2 1/2 months, but no mention of a return. Is he still living outside the home? I saw where earlier in this thread where he mentioned wanting to take baby steps, but still no mention of him coming home.
Accepting our situations means facing our pain. We have to turn grievances into grief. We have to learn to embrace our pain with love. We have to radiate self-love, even when our spouses aren't able to provide it. This is the challenge for the LBS. We have to heal ourselves, before we can heal the M.
Your H is trying to connect with you, but your anger and resentment, and attempts to control him keep pushing him away. I think you know that.
If you're still separated, perhaps a support group might be helpful. The love of other members would replace his for now, and might make your journey easier. GAL is critical. The connection of acquaintances and budding friendship also serves to cultivate self-love, as you open yourself to connection with others.
It's clear your approach isn't working. Try something different. My path towards healing began when I joined a writer's group three months ago. Up to that point, I was a member of the "walking wounded."
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
