NikkiB #15 (moving to Piecing)

[NikB]

Thanks Dave!! Yeah my H's comment about the dog was pretty funny but you're right, really insightful! He does that a lot, talks "through" other things. He'll make these profound comments about the strangest things, like commercials or song lyrics or whatever (a new thing, he never used to do this).

I think I overdid the blowout, for sure, but thank you - I DO agree it needed to be said and at least now there's no doubt eh?

A little journaling...

So the rest of today went great!! My H called this afternoon, totally unexpected. He was out sailing with his dad, and his dad decided to take a nap (yes they were docked) so H called me just to say hi. Wow... that was so cool. I know it sounds small but I honestly can't remember the last time he called me just to chit-chat cause he was bored and calling me was the first thing he thought of. He was telling me all about their day and what was going on around him on the island they were docked at. Oh and it was kind of funny - I had gone sailing with them last year (pre-bomb) in the San Francisco bay and was competely terrified. I thought H's dad knew how to sail but he didn't very well, and this is NOT good "practice" water. It became almost a joke because I was so scared. My arms were sore for days from hanging on to the side of the boat so hard and I even started crying at one point (I seriously thought our boat was going to flip and wasn't confident we could get back out before hypothermia set in).

The whole time H kept saying "But this is FUN, it's an ADVENTURE..." At the time I didn't see it but in hindsight he was saying/thinking "she so boring, she won't do anything fun or adventurous, she's too scared of living life..." (there were MANY instances like this, of course all in hindsight). I have gotten a lot more courageous since then, a 180... and it was funny because I told H the other day "Hey at least without 'wimp girl' along you guys can do whatever you want... although I'm not so wimpy anymore." H agreed I'm much braver now, but looked forward to trying new stuff on the boat without worrying about me. When we talked today he was so disappointed "I don't know what happened to my dad, he won't try anything fun, it sucks!" I thought that was pretty funny. I said "Well next time if I go, I'll get you guys to show off your sailing skills to try and impress me and maybe we can do some crazy sailing again."

This afternoon went to my dad's and much to my surprise, he decided to go play mini-golf with me and my sis! I had suggested it earlier in the day but he was coming up with 101 reasons not to go... so I got there and he said we should go, and I was really happy. For those not familiar with my whole sitch... my dad suffers from really severe depression (brain chemistry related, has had an awful time with it all his life). To top it off my stepmom became the WAS in February and my dad has been pretty devestated. From day 1 he's really been a wreck and the DB concepts just aren't sinking in for him, or he refuses to try them.. basically every time I see him I watch him force my stepmom further away, while also wallowing big time.

So, it was really exciting that he wanted to go and even more exciting that he had FUN with it. We all did - and I think my sis appreciated us doing something. Usually it's my dad and I having these really serious talks while she's bored to death (she's 10 and very active so sitting around talking's just NOT her thing). When we got back dad cooked ribs, potatoes, and artichokes for dinner. Last time I was there for dinner he nearly burst into tears because he couldn't figure out how to boil water to make spaghetti noodles, so this was a pretty big accomplishment. He even had me go play w/my sis while he cooked rather than help him, another surprise. There was some awkwardness for sure, especially because my dad just seems to constantly kind of pine for my stepmom (putting my poor sis in a really weird position), but it was a huge improvement from the last few times I've seen/talked to him.

So yay... very excited for a great Sunday! Hope everyone else had a good one, as well.