Well I really screwed up big time tonight. I went to the party this afternoon and I knew my H was going to be there. He didn't want to go together. Anyway, I had a friend ask if I was there "stag" and he told me he asked my H the same question. I reluctantly told him yes. He told me that my H said he was there stag. My H's reply among other things just made me lose it it and told my H I wanted to talk to him. So we stood out in front of the house talking (arguing) for a while and then went back in and then went out and battled some more. I think we were out there for about an hour and half. Anyway, I guess I pushed (and then pushed more) and he pulled back (and pulled back more), but it it is just as I suspected. He isn't ready to piece. He says he thinks he wants to sometimes but at others he doesn't know. I have been thinking that he really doesn't know what he wants so he is just buying time. Tonight, he told me that all he wanted to do was leave the party and I told him I needed and wanted for him to stay. Once again, he said I wasn't listening to him. I doubt he will be trying to buy time anymore because I said I was done.
Maybe it is time for me to move to the MLC forum or some other forum since I know now the he wasn't really trying to piece any after all.
I know what I did tonight was totally wrong but I just feel like I can't do this anymore. I know I should have done a lot of things differently in our marriage, but I don't deserve this.
