Holly- the process of him coming home started in like March - he didn't make it home until July. He kept being wishy washy. When I started to really move on he got scared and jumped on the fast track and I believed that he had changed. I didn't want to take the chance of turning him down and having him disappear for good , I made a choice I shouldn't have b/c I was scared.
I really at this point don't care about leaving him out in the dark with regrets - he made this choice not me. Sounds mean I know but I have 5 little ones that need their dad around and he is nowhere. I do not feel bad for him.
I have tried to help him- he doesn't want counselling he is afraid they will tell him he is wrong) he doesn't want my help and by his mean words he doesn't want me by his side for nothing. I can't continue being hurt like this.
He made this choice
Love,lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
I really get what you are saying. Like countries defending their borders (no, I'm not talking about immigration), we also have borders that must be defended.
Your h has "invaded" and breached and stomped on your borders/boundaries. And he isn't remorseful at all, at least to your face, which is really all that counts. There may come a time when you realize that realistically, there is no way the M can be repaired b/c at some point, you just detach out of self protection and you find yourself "recovered", no longer afraid and very different than you were before all this. You will have grown. I don't know whether your h is capable of doing the repair work needed to regain your trust and love, and the kids'. Seems that most WASs just cannot do it. Either pride, or shame or both, prevent them from truly taking responsibility for their actions and consequences, especially if it isn't quick. If the R's with the kids don't immediately result in the WAS's eing "welcomed home", and instead the WAS sees the kids' doubts, their scrutiny, their hurt, suspicions or resentments, then many of them bolt or blame the LBSer parent....I also don't care whether it's an MLC or a cheating h, or what label, b/c the damage is the same. And your h has had at least one A before all this.....All I'm saying is, I understand your feelings.
Anyhow, take care of YOU and your beautiful little ones. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yes 25, That is my main dilema about standing- We have already gone through this and he does it again!!! Do I keep on beingpatient - taking him back when HE is ready only to have it happen again- all the while I live life afraid of screwing up or saying something that makes him leave again. I can't do that.
He called I will post on my other thread
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
