Well, actually, the MC suggested he might want to consider getting into some form of peer counselling etc. but H feels, at this moment, he needs to fix himself and all the damage he has done to "us" before he can even consider it.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I was sitting watching the History Channel last night and H comes upstairs to get cleaned up before going to bed and says "what are you watching" and I say, "a program about UFO's".
He stands there, watching it for a few seconds and then comes and sits beside me and puts his arm around my shoulder and remains there for the balance of the program (about 40 minutes)
He hasn't done that in .... quite frankly, I can't remember how long
He also gave me a really nice kiss before we went to bed - nothing too provocative, but nice, and told me I had nice kisses
Once again, I can't remember the last time I got a kiss with any type of real passion in it but he seems to have been trying the last few months and is at least allowing his closed lip ones to linger a little longer, that's a start
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
They are indeed GEL - it's amazing actually how such little things like that can make such a world of difference
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Hey -- sorry I wasn't in on the discussion earlier this weekend. Been there, done that and I totally understand where you are at even if our H's A's were for different reasons. I always said "you cheat, you're gone," however, you DON'T know what you will do in a sitch until it happens to you. I've allowed 1 possibly 2 EA's, 1 one night stand BJ and now another EA and am still here. Why, who knows???!!! I do know though that I will be strong enough the next time to kick his A$$ to the curb if he CHOOSES to do it again.
Anyway, you do what you know is right for you and we all support you 100%. MPO is that you are doing the right thing. And, if it turns out you were wrong, you would be hurting if you left now or waited for it to happen again, so either way would suck. Might as well stick it out and we'll pray that your M is on the up and up now and all is going to be well (that's what I'm praying for in my M too)!!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Yes, I used to remember a time when I said "one time and you're outta here" - my how things have changed. Like you said, you never know until you are in that sitch how you will react.
Something tells me I need to stay for the time being. Only I will know when its time for me to pull the plug and its not now.
We have a ST appointment tomorrow so I am hoping that will shed some light on the sitch. The ST has had experience with the M/W complex before and is currenting seeing another couple that is dealing with it too, which is comforting.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
You are a beautiful woman. You've got you head and your heart in a very correct location. You are looking through clear eyes and I admire your courage and strength.
He had to see her, to talk with her, meet with her. It's over between them. He's got a problem about lying, and that's very painful for you, but which of us have no weaknesses, failures, and sins. My humanity wants to fly up north and kick his butt. My flesh wants to push you to hurt the man, leave him, dump his sorry behind. But my spirit see's you both lifted up, following on the right path, forgiveness, courage, and strength.
I pray the lord bless your M, recieve your fear and pain, and deliver you both into each others loving embrace. You are a gutsy woman, and I know you'll both do great things in the ST.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
