Sol, you know that I am no big fan of your wife's but you asked "What kind of a spouse that "wants" to be in a marriage refuses to go to M counseling?????? " A point to ponder is that she may not want to work on the M the way you do! You see MCing as "the way" but she doesn't, so what are the other options? This is where you are stuck, you see your way as the only way and otherwise see only a brick wall. You may be right about that but you may not be. Most of us came to DBing because our S's refuse things like MC. Yes, your W is in big time denial here, "let's go to Disneyworld"! My W pulled the same stunt when I told her I wasn't happy and unwilling to continue this sham for much longer. Her response was to plan a family trip to Disney World! I, too, put an end to that when I informed her there was NO MONEY!!! Sol, you are at a tough point and I know it's difficult to see much beyond the refusal to go to MC but is there something else that you could do? Also,could your W's lying about money and hiding it from you be because she's afraid you'll walk away and leave her with nothing? It's another way to look at her behaviour besides "she's using me". My W also started stashing money away in her own bank account for that reason. She did tell me and told me why. I figure if it makes her feel better, fine. I guess I'm just saying not to narrow your thinking to a fine point. Try to get back to the big picture, if you can. There may not be a problem solving answer elsewhere, I don't know, only time will tell. But, I do know that if you stop looking for alternatives then there will definately not be an answer besides filing. I hope this helps.
