Instead of hijcaking anyones post, I figured I would start a new one.
I don't know where to start today. Everything seems so hopeless. Things were going pretty good for the last week, I was finalizing getting things together this weekend, to separate and try to work on my M in time.
Now, it seems as if I am too late.
My H told me lats night he has fallen in love with another woman, yet again. They have been talking over the internet for 2 weeks (ever since we decided to separate), and he told me last night that he is in love with her.
She is married, with a young child, and lives 3,000 miles away. Her H ships out to Iraq soon.
Regardless if this is just a fantasy or not, this is the third time this has happened. The pathing is identical, but he tells me that this time it is different.
I don't know what to feel. I am just so lost. It feels like all of the hope I have been holding on to for the last 2 year, is gone in a heartbeat.
Not becaue my H feels this way, I am glad he is happy, I have not seen him this happy in a very long time.
But because, even if this just is a fanatsy, even if she tells him that she is married, and it can never be...
I can not go back to H again, and continually be second place for him. That if his feelings with this woman are not returned, that he still has me waiting to give my heart back to him.
I feel as if I will not survive the day, but I know I will.
I need to start focusing on me again. I need to find myself help to get through this. I need to find a friend.
It is quite literally my darkest hour, and I could really use some words of inspriation right now....
