"Going Dark" - 101

[bright 2 morro]

I am not sure if this was addressed but I want to ask it anyway. My H left me not that long ago. We have three small children. How do I go dark with the children.

I have stopped calling him for the most part. I have decided to proceed on with life for me and the kids. I make plans as if he is not there. But he calls me every day. Over the last several days I have stricktly only spoken to him about non R things. We talk about the kids and other things in each others life. I also try not to answer every call from him

Last week he called me one night late just to see how the kids and I were and to tell me that he missed the kids. I did call him afterwards to see if he was ok because he sounded so down. I kept is stricktly at that he called me back after to thank me for caring.

I have called him this weekend only because he has the kids and I want to talk to them. This has lead to some decent conversations (no yelling and fighting). He has also agreed to go to Family counciling which we start a week from monday.

I am trying to work on my changes: not being so negative and angry, trying to do things for myself and not for everyone else (some of his complaints over the years), I am also trying to not be so critical of his actions, and trying to thank him more for what he does.

I know that I feel better when I do not see him. When I do see him and he leaves I feel sad and cry again.

Is this what they consider going (gray) dark?

mimi