W is nuts, and I need to detach......

[DadNotQuitting]

Sol,

I've just been trying to catch up here, and know almost enough to be dangerous. Why do you seem to be so intent on driving this towards a divorce? OK, so you're in a dead marriage, welcome to the club. Your wife had an affair, that's two clubs you're in. But you and her are in the house with the kids, right? That's a heck of a lot better situation than most, including me. Looks like you're not DBing as well as you could, and I'm not even sure what is good and bad anymore myself. I know the pressure you feel to set ultimatums, but did you really think your list of demands was going to get you anywhere right now? Time is on your side. She seems stuck and cannot move out due to finances, so together you will be. If you don't make the best of the time in which you have the opportunity to change yourself and your marriage, you will regret it. I've said this about my own situation; I had plenty of chances to save my marriage, but didn't have tools to do so, now I have the tools but I seem to be out of chances. If I was in your position right now, I'm "man-up", quit obsessing about her affair and show her why you're the right man for her.

You say above she made a nice gesture with your business. Great. Sounds like you're still having sex, fantastic. I'm jealous by the way, so don't give me to much credit for that particular kudo. She's still there - perfect. I have your email address from your post, so let me send you a couple things you may have seen already, but they opened my eyes a bit.

And I'm sure you probably put it in your previous thread, but it is sort of lacking here. Now this is a bit harsh, but it's late, so......... You're no longer interested in your marriage? How interested are your kids in this marriage working? I'll bet they're interested. You are not bailing on your wife, you're bailing on your kids. Look at my threads, you will see that I'm taking severe body shots in order to make my marriage work so my kids can have a normal life with BOTH mommy and daddy. I'll bet you consider yourself the kind of guy that would do anything for your kids, right? Well suck it up, forget about the affair as best you can, and get this done. Do not be the one to run. Don't.