Hi Kim- Thanks for your post. I agree that I need to GAL outside my H and I have been trying hard to do that.
Today, I feel as if I am having a bit of a set back DBing. I trying tounderstand what I have been doing wrong and make changes to get more of a positive response from my H but today I am frustrated wondering if things will really change. We met for lunch on Thursday and he came over and had dinner with me and the kids last night. Things seemed pretty good and we didn't really talk about R stuff...at least not much. When he left things seemed good and he told me to TM him to see if he wanted to join me and my son for a movie today. I did send him a TM today just trying to get his opinion on something and I called. He never answered or responded. Needless to say, I didn't TM him to invite him to the movie with us. I am supposed to see him at a BBQ tomorrow (he doesn't want to go together) and he said he would come over on Monday for a BBQ I am having. Maybe I am just over-reacting but am I just not supposed to care that he blows me off like this?
Also, he seems to have issues with $$$ and the fact I am pretty much a stay-at-home mom. I have no regular income to speak of, but I do have investments that pay-off from time to time and on paper, I am better off financially then my H. My money is from investments made prior to our marriage so they are not considered community property. My H is a hard worker but he also like to spend. When we got married, he did not have much $ saved or invested. I am much more financially responsible. My H has been feeling (especially lately) that what he earns is all his and not community property. I have mixed thoughts about this (I am not trying to be greedy), but I am frustrated that he thinks and feels the way he does plus I am not sure he is always honest with me about what he is doing with his money. How to find some common ground on this issue.
Between this finances and other issues and the fact that I am not feeling appreciated or that I am a priority to him, I just wonder if this is worth all of the hard work. I want to save my marriage but I at moments, I am feeling like I am fighting an uphill battle. I really don't want a D but I just can't help but wonder if it is worth all of this. I know I deserve to be with someone who wants to make an effort to be with me. Can he ever be that person again?
