heather, I am so sorry for how you are feeling tonight and I've been there. It doesn't help you feel better but the truth is that you really have no control over this situation with regards to your H coming home. If his crisis and depressive states are just beginning, well, this could take a pretty long time. I know the loneliness. It is not a fun feeling. You can even be with a crowd of friends and still feel lonely. I can tell you that you have to grieve for what is going on with him, and do the best you can to take care of yourself right now. He may not come home anytime soon, but you can choose to leave the door open for him if and when he pulls himself together to be worthy enough of you once more.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
