789 Are any of us "normal"? I know if I told my friends what she did and what I'm doing they would think I'm nuts. But here...I'm "normal" nextsteps_4us I like what you said about the old marriage being dead. I too am looking forward to a new one. I just wish I would have come out of my FOG earlier. It is interesting that once I get the thoughts of the OM out of my head I also realize there is a lot about my W that I don’t know. When we did talk in the past it was always about car payment, what the kid did at school, doctor appt. what’s for dinner. I never asked her things like who was your best teacher in school? What vacation did you take as a child did you like the most? Is there something your dad always did that you liked as a kid? I have learned when I’m watching T.V and My Wife asks me something I mute or turn if off and look at her to listen. I do Hope I can win her back because I know the next half of our marriage will be great. Lostmybfriend I know how it is when the kids are gone. Sometimes my son is so noisily and drives me nuts. But when he spends the night at someone’s house its toooooooo Quiet I miss the commotion. Do you make puzzles? Have a good book or go rent a movie if you don’t have anywhere to go. Or just go to the mall and window shop. Ya have to be careful there thou. Once in a while when I’m out and about I see a couple laughing and holding hand and I feel sad that I don’t have that. I have to go now but stay on line someone should be here to talk to. I’m in California so I probably dinner time where you are. I talk to ya soon yvonnec I do not take responsibility for the affair. But what I am guilty of is the common mistake of not really listening. I read that when someone come up to you with a problem, about half way through you stop listening and try to fix it. With my W after she was through talking I would say. You should do this, or I would not let them do that I would…. I herd the problem but not her feelings. I should have asked her if she tried this or that not tell her what to do. I also didn’t really listen to her voice. If I didn’t want to go with her to a function I would ask her if I could just stay home. She would say ok. But deep down she really wanted me to go. So yes she didn’t say what she wanted but did not really listen either. This is no excuse for the affair. But hopefully my working on this will prevent it from going that far again I have to go now but stay on line someone should be here to talk to. I’m in California so I probably dinner time where you are. I talk to ya soon
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
