(3) Since my H spoke to her and saw her, the changes in him have been over the top in progress in our R [..]
Ever since he saw her ... or ever since you started to put your foot down with regards to the cell phone? The two events happened in exactly the same time-frame.
I think he realized he might not be able to get you to back off this time, and that you'd find out he'd been talking to her and seeing her, and buttered you up just in case.
If he has "M/W" complex, why was there any "emotion" there to begin with? Why hand over money because "he felt sorry for the kids?"
I dunno, Heywyre. I think he's manipulating you, yet again. I'm not even sure I believe the M/W stuff. All right, I don't. I think he's an ordinary cake-eater who had a string of ordinary A's. And no, I have no psych degree whatsoever!
Of course, we will support you, no matter what you do. Good luck. You deserve all the happiness.
