Sex is like dancing. When we went to Salsa classes for a while this became more and more obvious to me. The ideal male dancing partner is a partner who can lead. The man has to know what he's doing and have the confidence and be into enough to shape what is happening. Are we dancing double time, or single? Are we being showy or are we just dancing because we like the music, or because we are into each other. The guy dictates what is going on - the good female dancer goes with the flow but adds her own special something. She adds flair to outline the man has given her. One of the things the dance teacher showed us was how the man gives the woman space to do her stuff and show off her moves. Good sex should be exactly like this.
No the heat does not come from the woman, it comes from the man, but the woman adds the spices.
If you think about pretty much every area of life is like that. Man builds house, woman decorates it. Man drags home beast, woman cooks it into tasty meal. The man says whats happening and makes it happen - the woman embellishes it and makes it into something nice. Men are failing in their role if they don't make things happen, women are failing if they don't make the most of what is happening or try to make something different happen.
Even weirder than that it works in the software industry (which is what I do) because all the men are programmers and all the women are UI designers, trainers, implementers etc. They take what the men have done and make it usable, nice, congenial.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
