I would agree with the other posts. Before all of this happened, I had the same attitude, if she ever cheated on me - it would be over. I could never imagine that happening.
Now that it has, and I've done a lot of soul searching I realize that I still love her. I also believe the old marriage was dead, we neglected it, but I am 100% invested in my desire to create a new marriage with my wife.
Yes, it hurts thinking about them together sexually. Yes, i don't actually know if i'll ever be able to get past it fully. Yes, i worry about trust issues. But right now I am choosing to focus on the positives about my wife, and the positives about my relationship (as few as there are).
My wife and I spent years focusing on the negatives about each other, and look where it got us. Its only when your life is turned upside down and you see what you had, you realize just how many positives your spouse has, and just how few negatives they really had.
So don't focus on the OM/OW, you will get sullen, angry, and any interaction with your spouse with me tainted... it will just push your spouse further into the OMs arms. Focus on the good memories, and the reasons you love your wife..
