Sweetehart used to think I was Braveheart! That would be anatomy shock
GOsh I have a love-hate relationship with so many of your posts. I usually disagree with you, but love your insight and different views. If everyone agreed, we wouldn't stretch ourselves, think about other views and strengthen or change our own views.
And I also love thyat when you start one of your posts like this one you seem open and welcome rather than hostile. You want to spark conversation--and that is always a good thing.
I sometimes read what you write and go No No that's not right. Or Ugh..negativity (worried that newbies will lose sight of Hope). But then again, I'm such a polarity in that a counter balance is needed.
I don't have a lot of time now...my broken foot is supposed to be elevated, but I will start with a few things that I will continue later.
Like Lisset et al, I too think you are negative--but i don't think it is your intention either. I just think that your reality is negative--glass half empty sort of thing. And I must admit to wondering about Lisset's bitterness comment. I don't know if you are biter...but it's natural to wonder I think.
Sure you have some stats--generallly the divorce rate is above 50%. But should it be? MY personal view is that a lot of those marriages didn't need to end in divorce...but that isn't something that can be supported with statistics; it's a what if sort of thing.
I sadi something last week that I am sorry, but wasn't explained well. Can't recall the thread, but I said something about the overwhelming majority of those who reconcile do not post because they are working ont heir marriages.
What I failed to make clear was my sarcasm in the statement. The term overwhelming was, for me, a quote or mirror from the thread owner when he talked about the overwhelming majority who do not reconcile--or something like that. I shouls have italicized the word and explained myself better. I was not trying to say literally that an overwhelming majority reconcile--it would have been cleared if spoken probably. I think that the Oldtimer's who still post are those that didn't reconcile though...and many that did reconcile do not post because they are woring on their marriages. There are no stats; it's all just thoughts. And if there were...well the DB forum is a small microcosm...skewed anyway.
And maybe some of what I disagree with you on isn't really disagreement...but a concern for what I see as your pessimism. I don't want scared newbies to be infected and give up without an effort. Yes, they may divorce, but they need strength. And isn't it supposed to be better to work on a current relationship and work out your issues to learn from them rather than simply taking them to the next relationship. I think that is what many do here...they at least take stpes to resolve their own issues and learn how to work through issues before moving to the next person. If they lose hope tooo quickly, they may halt that process. Not sure...just thought of it now.
And as for stats...well, maybe I should save that for a later post. I said something several months ago about my feelings and it may be applicable.
But Braveheart...thank you for always challenging us to think. I know you don't believe in MLC the way many of us do. But I personally have never felt you chastise or belittle us for tour beliefs...and I've never felt you are mean. You promote a safe place for sharing diverse views.
