I intended no sarcasm. Sorry if my post came off that way.
Quote:"Instead, Choc is ALL ABOUT HIS W. I can't imagine that she feels anything but smothered by his behavior right now. She can't breath, let alone get the kind of space she has been pretty darn direct about needing right now."
I believe if you read back on Choc's situation, you will find that he has been emotionally divorced from his wife for years. He has been instructed to reengage with his wife, not from a point of desperation, but from strength. This is what he is working toward doing.
I don't know where you got the impression that he is smothering her, but it is incorrect.
Quote:"But, obsessing about the EA is NOT going to help. Trying to shame and guilt W back into the M is not going to lead to a healthy R. I have no idea what you are suggesting Choc do as far as the EA as you are making your suggestions offline, but I think a lot of the advice you give online is very helpful. Choc needs to quit needing stuff from his W and GAL in a major way."
He is not obsessing about the affair. He is directly dealing with it. That is difficult to pull off from anyone's perspective. What he is NOT doing, is putting his head in the sand and ignoring it. He is being disrespected and deceived. He intends to bring that disrespect and deception into the light of day. Once that is done, then he will stop concentrating on the affair and work solely on his marriage.
Once he can work on his marriage, he can do so with at least a good portion of truth. It is near to impossible to truly recover a marriage whose recovery is based on unresolved deception. I think that most experts will agree on that.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
