HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[forward]

Lisa,
My H wasn't paying much attention to D1, but then I started to disappear and leave her with him. Hi, going to get a pedicure, bye.

So, for at least a week, do not nag, pressure, or press him to come by to see kids under any circumstances. Do not try to make him feel guilty, either. Do not "help" him or advise him on the kids. Say nothing. See what happens.

(Not only that, he used to not do things like brush her teeth--and guess what? He's brushing her teeth! )

This is a big principle for DB: Ignore all the negative interactions. Praise what you want to see more of. If you ignore how he does not interact with them, and do not criticize or complain, he will be more likely to come around. Also, compliment him on his interactions with the kids when he is around.

Example: I told him D1 was happy as a clam with him. MUCH better than babysitter. SO much happier. And I think this is true! He said (and his lack of confidence surprised me) "Really?!" Have also told him that D1 is making better progress with him, which I also think is true. (But I can't lay it on too thick!)

I didn't comment that he gave her French fries (oh the sodium!!) and still sleeps too much on duty.

This DB is to calm the situation down. Do it for your kids now.

I figure at the very least, I got respect back. Even if H never comes back, D1 would see us interact respectfully.